There has been a lot of talk about racism recently. The debate seems to be if racism really exists and exactly who are the racists. I won't go into the details here because this series is dedicated to my American history. And it is told from my perspective. So without trying to argue the point as to whether or not racism is and who the real racists are, I am simply discussing some of the incidents in my life and in the lives of my family that I believe have been related to the color of my skin and occurred in the 21st century.
First, I am a Black woman. I recently had someone dispute that fact and say that I am a "pretty brown lady." And while that may be an accurate physical description, there are some problems with this statement. First, each human being as the right to name and define themselves. This right was taken away when African names were replaced with the names of the slavers. And second, is the connotation that the words 'pretty' and 'lady' don't go with the word 'black'. When someone chooses to correct another person about their identity, they are denying who that person really is.
The slights, overlooks, and microaggressions endured by Black people on a daily basis are astounding. Saturday afternoon of shopping and lunch can be painful. I have had some store clerks follow me around and remind me of the prices. While others have ignored me and waited on the white customers first. I even have walked out of stores and restaurants when it has become clear that I would not receive service. And have vowed not to visit those establishments again.
It doesn't even stop at work or in a meeting. I can't even enumerate the times that I have been ignored at meetings.One time vividly comes to mind when I was working. I was in the office one day when my director, a white man, asked me why one of my schools had called and asked him to attend a meeting. I knew nothing about the issue and went the meeting. They school administration asked where my boss wasn't there and I told them that I would handle the situation. The assistant, tried to ignore me and decide how to handle the student. I had to interrupt him and remind the team that I was the expert at the table. I then proceeded with the meeting. Having my authority questioned or being flat out ignored in professional settings hasn't always just been about race, sometimes it's also about gender.
Being black isn't something I can take a vacation from. While shopping in an Addis Ababa Hilton store while on a layover from a flight from Ghana, I noticed a chilly reception from the sales clerk. When I presented my American Express card for the purchase, she brightened immediately realizing that I was an American. She became much more friendly and stated that she originally believed that my daughter and I were Ghanaian. In her eyes, black American skin was more valuable than black Ghanaian skin. A similar event occurred in the Dominican Republic; that time believing that we were Haitian. And I have already written at length about my experience in Mexico last year. https://waltenapride.weebly.com/blog/fantasy-race-and-reality
Even a visit to the hospital can cause unnecessary pain when after I explain my diagnosis to a staff doctor, he asks me, "who taught me how to speak like that." Or the time an optometrist told me that there was nothing wrong with my eyes and dismissed my request to see an ophthalmologist and told me to buy some eye drops for dryness. I actually had a serious inflammatory condition that required six months of treatment and biweekly visits to monitor my eyes so that I wouldn't loose my sight. In both cases they only saw an older Black woman and their assumption was that I shouldn't or didn't know what was wrong with me.
My daughter and grandson have not been immune to such treatment. My daughter was waiting for her son to finish swim practice when a little white girl sat down beside her and started playing with my daughter's braids. The child's mother was sitting right there and did not correct the child as my daughter asked her to stop touching her hair. The little girl decided that she would grab a handful and give it a good yank. At that moment, daughter loudly told her to stop. The mother had a horrified look on her face. It is never correct to walk up to a stranger and begin to pet them and play with them like they were a stray dog.
My grandson, as a Black boy is a target of racism. My daughter refused to leave him alone in a doctor's waiting room because she does not want him to be accused of anything by anyone. He was only in the second grade when we had to explain race and racism to him as he was put on a behavior plan by a substitute teacher for talking in class when the white girl he was talking to received no disciplinary action. https://waltenapride.weebly.com/blog/having-the-talk
These are just a few of the experiences of my experiences of being Black in the 21st century. And I am pretty sure that most Black people have their own stories like these and so much worse. Being Black is not for the faint of heart. It requires a daily dose of patience and grace to get through the maddening events which have become a part of our lives. And frankly we are sick and tired of it. So when some of us talk about the racism that is running rampant and being fueled by the highest levels of government, take the time to stop and listen. Racism is real and it's not going away.
First, I am a Black woman. I recently had someone dispute that fact and say that I am a "pretty brown lady." And while that may be an accurate physical description, there are some problems with this statement. First, each human being as the right to name and define themselves. This right was taken away when African names were replaced with the names of the slavers. And second, is the connotation that the words 'pretty' and 'lady' don't go with the word 'black'. When someone chooses to correct another person about their identity, they are denying who that person really is.
The slights, overlooks, and microaggressions endured by Black people on a daily basis are astounding. Saturday afternoon of shopping and lunch can be painful. I have had some store clerks follow me around and remind me of the prices. While others have ignored me and waited on the white customers first. I even have walked out of stores and restaurants when it has become clear that I would not receive service. And have vowed not to visit those establishments again.
It doesn't even stop at work or in a meeting. I can't even enumerate the times that I have been ignored at meetings.One time vividly comes to mind when I was working. I was in the office one day when my director, a white man, asked me why one of my schools had called and asked him to attend a meeting. I knew nothing about the issue and went the meeting. They school administration asked where my boss wasn't there and I told them that I would handle the situation. The assistant, tried to ignore me and decide how to handle the student. I had to interrupt him and remind the team that I was the expert at the table. I then proceeded with the meeting. Having my authority questioned or being flat out ignored in professional settings hasn't always just been about race, sometimes it's also about gender.
Being black isn't something I can take a vacation from. While shopping in an Addis Ababa Hilton store while on a layover from a flight from Ghana, I noticed a chilly reception from the sales clerk. When I presented my American Express card for the purchase, she brightened immediately realizing that I was an American. She became much more friendly and stated that she originally believed that my daughter and I were Ghanaian. In her eyes, black American skin was more valuable than black Ghanaian skin. A similar event occurred in the Dominican Republic; that time believing that we were Haitian. And I have already written at length about my experience in Mexico last year. https://waltenapride.weebly.com/blog/fantasy-race-and-reality
Even a visit to the hospital can cause unnecessary pain when after I explain my diagnosis to a staff doctor, he asks me, "who taught me how to speak like that." Or the time an optometrist told me that there was nothing wrong with my eyes and dismissed my request to see an ophthalmologist and told me to buy some eye drops for dryness. I actually had a serious inflammatory condition that required six months of treatment and biweekly visits to monitor my eyes so that I wouldn't loose my sight. In both cases they only saw an older Black woman and their assumption was that I shouldn't or didn't know what was wrong with me.
My daughter and grandson have not been immune to such treatment. My daughter was waiting for her son to finish swim practice when a little white girl sat down beside her and started playing with my daughter's braids. The child's mother was sitting right there and did not correct the child as my daughter asked her to stop touching her hair. The little girl decided that she would grab a handful and give it a good yank. At that moment, daughter loudly told her to stop. The mother had a horrified look on her face. It is never correct to walk up to a stranger and begin to pet them and play with them like they were a stray dog.
My grandson, as a Black boy is a target of racism. My daughter refused to leave him alone in a doctor's waiting room because she does not want him to be accused of anything by anyone. He was only in the second grade when we had to explain race and racism to him as he was put on a behavior plan by a substitute teacher for talking in class when the white girl he was talking to received no disciplinary action. https://waltenapride.weebly.com/blog/having-the-talk
These are just a few of the experiences of my experiences of being Black in the 21st century. And I am pretty sure that most Black people have their own stories like these and so much worse. Being Black is not for the faint of heart. It requires a daily dose of patience and grace to get through the maddening events which have become a part of our lives. And frankly we are sick and tired of it. So when some of us talk about the racism that is running rampant and being fueled by the highest levels of government, take the time to stop and listen. Racism is real and it's not going away.